


Missing Pieces

by kateyes085



Series: missing pieces verse [1]
Category: CWRPS, spn-fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-28
Updated: 2010-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:30:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateyes085/pseuds/kateyes085
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen thought that he had everything he needed until he found his missing piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> So far, there are two sections to this. I am not sure if it will be a verse, series or just evolve into a story al on it's own.

~*~

Misha was juggling a handful of books for his Literature, Algebra, and Political Science classes. He had his schedule hanging out of his mouth and trying not to walk into anybody or trip and fall, as his Docs were unlaced while balancing his messenger bag. He turned blindly to mutter an apology to the little blonde girl he accidentally stepped on and when he was turning back he ran into a wall with an 'oof', lost his balance and dropped everything. _Oh Great!_ He knelt down to organize the mess of papers, books, and pens that just flew out of his bag.

"Watch where you're goin' geek," a deep voice boomed over him.

Misha looked up quickly glancing to mutter his apologies only to be staring at the school's wide receiver as well as more than half the football team. Misha's mouth hung open with his schedule and highlighter falling into the pile he was sorting. Jared was glaring down at him from his imposing six-feet, five-inch height. "Uh, um, sorry, I, uh ... yeah, sorry?" Misha stuttered by way of an apology still desperately trying to gather up his things and not make a bigger fool of himself. _Wonderful way to start your sophomore year Mish,_ he chastised himself.

Last year was a cacophony of experiences. It was terrifying because he was leaving his family farm in Oklahoma for the first time and moving to and attending the University of Texas. It was exhilarating because it was a fresh new experience and he was really getting ready to start his life. However, it was also disappointing because it was like high school all over again, only this time he was picked on in a much larger scale.

Jared's face blackened into a dark scowl as he took a threatening step towards him with the remainder of the offense line following; Tom Welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Chris Kane, Steve Carlson and Chad Murray.

"Jesus Jared," Misha heard from the back of the bunch and saw someone pushing their way through the mass. Misha decided to turn his attention to the cleaning up his mess and getting the hell out of there. He has been embarrassed enough for one day.

Jensen bent down to help the guys' latest victim. He could not really see much of the guy, just a dark mass of messy hair and the tips of some very red ears. "I'm sorry about the Sasquatch."

"Huh?" The guy's dark head knocked Jensen in the chin as he lifted it up to look at whoever was helping him. "Ouch," he hissed on impact.

Jensen, however, was seeing stars as he fell back on his buttocks with the papers he had in his hands flying up in the air. Jensen's ears were ringing from his jaw being snapped shut from the impact as well as hearing his friends' raucous mocking.

"Jenny's always gotta be the good Samaritan," he heard Mike tease.

Jensen shook his head to catch his wits. "I am so sorry," was all he could make out of the babble that was spewing from the dark-haired guy. He was now trying to help Jensen up and scowl pitifully at Jensen's friends for not helping. "Are you okay?" he had helped Jensen stand up and was trying to bush off any invisible dirt that might be on him.

Misha leaned back to assess the damage and managed to slip on the papers and fell forward with Jensen catching him with a grunt. Mortally embarrassed at this point, Misha burrows his head into the guy's chest. "I'm just going to go back to bed and start today again or build a spaceship and slingshot around the sun. Yeah, I like the sound of that better," came the muffle ramblings from Jensen's jacket.

On hearing this, Jensen started chuckling, which graduated to a full-fledged giggling fit as Misha lifted his bedraggled mop of black hair from his shoulder. Piercing blue eyes met laughing green ones.

"I'm Jensen," Misha's hiding post told him.

Misha blushed a darker shade of red and answered, "I'm …"

"Misha! What did you do? Who are you?" a fiery redhead glared at Jensen as she rushed over to Misha's aid.

Julie McNiven was Misha's best and only friend. He was always very shy and withdrawn growing up. They met on Misha's first day when he was trying to find his dorm room, on which she had come running around the corner from her shower and straight into him, losing her towel and giving him his first live view of the female body. He does not remember much, other than her hovering over him, somewhat dressed and dripping on him, while trying to wake him up after he had passed out in front of her room.

"Jules I'm fine. I just tripped and I dropped everything. Jensen?" Misha said, looking at him for a confirmation nod, "was helping me and I knocked him down when I was trying to get up, but I slipped again and fell again but he caught me." Misha finished miserably.

The jocks were laughing in the background and Jensen kept scowling over his shoulder at them. Julie started fussing over him making sure he was not hurt. Misha was a bit accident prone, especially when books were involved. He tended to get distracted.

Mike yelled out a catcall to Julie, "Hey sweetheart, why don't just bubble wrap your boyfriend, it'll make it easier on everybody." That caused another round of cackling amongst the team members.

"Fuck you Rosie!" Jensen turned and yelled at them. "Enough! You've had your fun, leave 'em alone."

Julie stormed over to Mike and jabbed her finger into his chest hard, scathingly retorted, "When I want your advice I will ask for it, cretin. Otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself. Don't you have something else more important to do, like crush a beer can on your head or something?" she snarled.

"Listen lady, I didn't do anything to you." Mike snapped at her.

"No, you and your Neanderthal friends just humiliated my friend for no reason other than to make yourselves look good and feel better about yourselves." She spun back around to help Misha. "Come on Mish, let's get you cleaned up."

"Uh, Jen?" Jared asked hesitantly. Jensen was a bear when he got angry and he did not want to be any more on his bad side. "We gotta get goin' to pick up the girls, man."

Jensen glared at them all and nodded his agreement. The rest of the guys settled down after that. As the star quarterback and team captain, he had some amount of control over them when warranted.

Jensen turned back to Misha. He looked miserable sitting on the floor sorting his papers and trying to make some order with everyone glaring at him and walking around the mess. Jensen attempted to bend down again and talk to him, keeping a safe distance this time. "Look, I really am sorry about all of this." he said again, grabbing some papers, straightening them and handing them back to Misha.

"Thanks," Misha replied shyly. "I'm sorry I almost knocked you out and fell on you," he said with a crooked smile.

Jensen smiled and chuckled softly to that. "Well, I guess we're even, then. Look I gotta go, but you take care and I'll see you around?"

Misha nodded and smiled, "Bye."

 

~*~

Nothing beat the rush of winning on the field. This was Jensen's place to fly. He and the guys worked as a well-oiled machine pushing and driving to the end … the win, euphoria; accolades, cheers, jeers and now the quiet reflection with his teammates on a job well done, well not so quiet. The team cleaned up in the locker room after the subsequent interviews … blah, blah, blah … Now, they, were partying at the frat house, loud, boisterous fun. They were juniors and having the time of their lives. Jensen nursed his beer with his girlfriend, head cheerleader of the Longhorns' squad, Danneel Harris, was warmly wrapped around him, as he watched everyone enjoy themselves. He should feel complete, right? Friends, family, football … what more was there?

~*~

"Oh come on Mr. Kripke, a D? You know Coach Morgan's gonna bench me if I don't at least have a C." Jensen exclaimed after the first literary analysis essay was handed back. Jensen was smart, but schoolwork and him never really got along. He got by and did what he had to, but his focus was sports, mainly football; and as a son of Texas, football was not a game, it was a religion. All throughout high school and most of college, his teachers had been "encouraged" to help Jensen pursue his talents on the field. Now, however, with the installation of a new head coach, and starting a new semester with the new head of the English department as his professor, Jensen was not getting a break anywhere.

"Mr. Ackles, while I can appreciate the severity of your latest dilemma, I have to commend Mr. Morgan for his appreciation of the scholastic aptitudes of his charges." Mr. Kripke replied. "What? Huh? Whatever." Jensen answered clearly confused. "What can I do to make this up? I have to play next Saturday. It's the A&M game. I can't miss it. I'm the starting quarterback," he pleaded, as the class was clearing out. Mr. Kripke looked Jensen up and down with an assessing eye. "Mr. Collins, a word please." he stated.

A confused pair of startled blue eyes darted up to the front of the room from where he stood at his desk putting the last of his things in his messenger bag. "Sir?" Misha yelped and rushed forward mindful of the chairs, not wanting to trip and fall as was his inclination.

"Mr. Ackles here is in need of a tutor to bring his grade up so that he will be able to continue his athletic endeavors. Are you available for the task?" Mr. Kripke inquired of Misha. "Um, well, I do have a rather heavy load this semester and I can't afford to fall behind in my studies, but if we can work out an acceptable schedule, I'll be more than happy to help." Misha offered honestly with a blush.

"Excellent. You two work the details out amongst yourselves. I need his analysis reviewed, revised and rewritten by next class. After that, I will have a list of books for him to complete in addition to his regular class work." Mr. Kripke remarked offhandedly as he got ready to leave for his office.

"Extra work? Mr. Kripke be reasonable. I still have my other classes, practice and studying to do, I …" Jensen whined.

"While I appreciate the hindrance this will cause in your social activities, sacrifices will have to be made all around. You are not the only person affected by this Mr. Ackles. Mr. Collins is very generously offering his time to assist you so that you can continue without my having to notify Coach Morgan of your demerit. The choice is yours Mr. Ackles." Mr. Kripke responded icily.

"Of course, of course, sir, I apologize. I wasn't thinking. Thank you for giving me this opportunity." Jensen groveled. He was appreciative, but honestly, he had no idea how he was going to do this. He would have to stay in more often, was the only thing he could come up with. The guys and Dani would just have to understand. He turned to 'Mr. Collins' and offered his thanks.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man, I'm just kinda got overwhelmed. I'll work it out. I just need to figure out how. The only thing I know is I have to play the A&M game next Saturday. It's the biggest game of the year, ya' know?"

"Uh, no not really, but I'll take your word for it," Misha stuttered and blushed. "I don't really follow football, though all my brothers play. I just never … got it …" he shrugged and went back to get the rest of his books.

That caught Jensen's attention. "What do you mean you don't get it? How can you not get it? It's football." Jensen responded. "That's it, I'm gonna teach you. It's easy. You see you've got …" Misha stopped him right there. "Maybe we should save that for another time? I need to get to work, but …" he paused, "you can teach me; just later. I will help you with your literature analyses and answer any questions you have in exchange for you explaining it to me. My family is coming down for a game in about a month. Maybe you will have better luck than my brothers ever did." he shrugged again.

"Well, where do your brothers go to school?" Jensen asked curiously.

Misha has his bag righted and starts walking to the door turning back to answer Jensen who is following him out. "Um, the University of Oklahoma?" Jensen stopped short and stared at Misha. "Oh man, I'm gonna have to hate you now. That's a shame; I was really starting to like you too." Misha snorted and Jensen laughed. Misha turned and offered his hand to Jensen, "I'm Misha, by the way." Jensen shook it, "Hey you're the second Misha I met this semester. Cool! What are the odds? I'm Jensen." Misha paled and stumbled into Jensen and he caught him easily. Green and blue eyes startled in awareness and they said at the same time, "That was YOU?"

Misha scrambled back, tripping and stumbling into the opposite wall, banging his head and sliding downward. He paled and then turned scarlet. "I am so sorry about that day. I don't think I've been more embarrassed in my life, and I'm always embarrassing myself." Jensen knelt down, "Come here. Let me see." He reaches up, pulls Misha's head towards him, and runs his fingers through his thick mop of dark waves trying to find any bumps. Misha sighs quietly until Jensen finds the knot from where his head hit the wall, "ouch," he hisses. "Look up at me," Jensen asked quietly. Trusting, clear blue eyes shifted up to him. Jensen cradled his head gently as he checked both of Misha's pupils. "You don't seem concussed. You must have a thick skull," he scoffed with a quick tussle of Misha's ebony locks. "Hey," Misha chuckled at the rebuff with a shove, "My mother would agree with you," he chuckled. Jensen laughed loudly at that.

"Jensen!" Danneel screeched. Jensen shot up with a guilty look on his face, like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. _I haven't done anything wrong_ , he scowled to himself. "You were supposed to meet me out front. I waited for like twenty minutes. What took so long?" Danneel argued, looking Misha up and down as he struggled to stand up and clean himself off.

"I'm sorry babe, I'm not gonna be able to go with you guys. I need to work on some extra credit for English Lit. I'm not doin' so hot." Danneel huffed at this indignantly. "So, why are you pawing all over that guy?" she asked suspiciously. "Misha? Oh! I'm sorry, Dani, this is Misha, he's gonna be helping me with my English Lit assignments. He lost his footing and clonked his head on the wall. I was just checking to make sure he hadn't given himself a concussion."

Misha shyly offered his hand to Danneel, "Nice to meet you ma'am." Danneel sniffed indignantly at the proffered hand and turned to Jensen. "You need to reschedule your _meeting_. Everyone is waiting for us."

Misha was not quite sure what was going on, but Jensen's "friend" was very rude. The polite thing would be to allow them to continue with their conversation in private so that is what Misha did. "Jensen, I'll be in the library for the rest of the night. I really need to get going. I'll talk to you later. It was nice meeting you ma'am." Misha turned and walked off up the corridor and turned in the direction of the library.

Jensen was glaring at Danneel as she spun back around to him, "Finally! Okay, let's go." she smiled at him. _Is she bipolar? I'm having problems keeping up with her mood swings_ , Jensen thought irritatingly. "I don't know where you're going, but I'm going to the library to apologize," he told her bitterly.

"Why? What for? We don't have time for this Jen, everyone is waiting for us. Come on." Danneel reached to loop her arm through his. "What aren't you gettin' Dani? I'm not goin' out tonight. I need to redo this paper and try to resurrect my grade or Coach's gonna bench me for the A&M game."

"Your professor wouldn't dare. That's the biggest game of the year." Danneel fumed. "Well apparently, he's gonna and I need to do this. The A&M game is too important. Just go by yourself." he shrugged.

"Go by myself? What is wrong with you? I can't go by myself. What will people think?" she screeched incredulously. "They will think you are going out alone, Dani. Look I gotta go." Jensen told her as he kissed her cheek in passing and ran after Misha.

~*~

Jensen jangled his knee nervously waiting for Misha to finish going over his paper. They had been studying together for close to two months now, just about every night, once Jensen found out that Misha was in his Political Science and his Algebra classes too. Misha was always patient and helpful in all of Jensen's class work. Jensen only had to try his best and Misha had no problem lending a hand whenever or wherever needed.

Mike had joined their study sessions once he found out that Julie frequently studied with Misha in the Student Center in between her classes. That was a mismatched pair if there ever was. She was smart, sassy, very independent and outspoken. Misha called her the personification of the Feminine Mystique; "She crashes through the boundaries." Mike was everything her liberal-feminist mindset was against. They bickered constantly, but Mike was growing on Julie. Jensen could tell. He had known Mike since junior high school, and he had never looked at anyone the way he looked at her.

All of Jensen's friends seem to like Misha all right, though he did keep mostly to himself. Julie had explained to Jensen that he was painfully shy, and she was really amazed that he had taken to Jensen's friendship so quickly. As far as she knew, he never really had any friends growing up, just an overbearing Puritanical idealistic mother and four bullies for brothers that ran their family farm.

Danneel was another matter. She did not like Misha and everyone knew it. Jensen was spending less and less time with her. She was becoming overbearing and annoying in her clinging attempts to further their relationship. They dated, had fun together and occasional bouts of sex thrown in for spice, but really, they had nothing in common. Jensen was seriously starting to question … things. He knew he loved football and his friends.

Misha … he was just … Jensen didn't know what. There was just something about him. He was patient with his meticulous attention to details. He was so smart and funny; but he hardly let anyone see that side of him. He was happier disappearing in a corner with a book at a party than drinking and making a fool of himself like Jensen's friends did. _I sound like a girl even in my own damned head_ , Jensen thought as he watched Misha read and jot notes in the margins of his paper. He felt ... something when he was with Misha. Jensen just knew he should be freaking out but was not.

Misha looked up and handed Jensen his paper back with a smile. "You're doing much better Jensen. Your ideas are going in the right direction, now we just have to get them articulated more for Mr. Kripke. Other than that, you are doing great." Jensen blushed under the praise, "Well, I seem to have had a good teacher." It was Misha's turn to blush at that. Jensen's stomach did a flutter thing when Misha blushed, when Misha smiled, when Misha laughed, hell even when Misha breathed. _I am such a fuckin' girl!_ Jensen thought for the millionth time.

Mike and Julie just looked at each other and rolled their eyes at each other. Julie twitched her head towards the others and Mike took the hint. "Okay Jen, we need to get going." Jensen blinked and stared at Mike with a confused look on his face. "We do?" he asked as Mike rolled his eyes gathering their stuff, "Yeah, yeah we do. Say goodbye to our study buddies," he told him as he started yanking Jensen out of his chair. "Um, bye?" Jensen muttered as he was yanked through the door.

"I hope everything's okay," Misha asked Julie. Internally, Julie just shook her head at him and sighed heavily, _He is so clueless; they both are for that matter_. Misha looked for all the world like someone just broke his favorite toy. She chuckled quietly to herself, "I'm sure everything is fine sweetie." They turned back to their work and continued in silence for a few minutes. _Now or never_ , Julie thought.

"Um, Mish, I need to talk to you about something. I don't quite know where to start, so I'm just gonna say it, okay?" she cringed at her own cowardice. Misha looked up from his book frowning a little in confusion as he said, "Okay," placing a marker on his page. "You know it's okay to like him, right? Jensen, I mean." Misha laughed, "Of course I like him. He's my friend." snickering at her strange question.

Julie reached for his hand, "No sweetie, I mean, it is okay for you to _like_ him … as more than a friend." Misha's face paled and then blushed scarlet as he yanked his hand from hers. "I don't know what you're talking about." he snapped at her, completely out of character. Julie knew she was pushing buttons, but he needed to understand. Life was not as black and white as his mother professed it was, especially where love was concerned. "Yes you do Mish, and I just wanted to tell you that it was okay." Misha bit his bottom lip and looked up at her with terrified blue eyes holding unshed tears in check. "I can't Jules," he moved in closer looking back and forth to whisper heatedly, "He's a man!" like he was committing a sacrilegious sin. She smiled sadly at him. "Just know whatever you decide, decide for you and no one else. I'll support you no matter what."

She gathered up her books and got ready to leave, "I need to get to my Social Sciences class. You can call me or come to my room later if you wanna talk." On impulse, Julie leaned over to hug Misha and kissed him on his cheek. Misha sat there quietly and just thought things through for a little while, packed up his stuff and walked back to his dorm room.

~*~

"What the fuck is your problem Mike? We don't have anything to do." Jensen growled at Mike and yanked his arm back. Mike sighed heavily. There was no easy way to ask, so he just went for it. "Do you love him or do you just want to fuck him?"

Jensen jerked and his jaw dropped open when he sputtered, "What! Who? What the hell are you talkin' about?" as he turned bright red. "Jen, it's me. There is no point in trying to fool me. I have never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him." If it was at all possible Jensen turned brighter red and stared at his feet when he whispered, "Who?" Mike took sympathy on him, reached out, and squeezed his shoulder. "Misha." Jensen paled considerably. He would not look at one of his oldest friends.

"I don't care you know," Mike told him matter-of-factly. "I just want you happy man and Danneel's a great girl, but I don't think she is it for you. That's all I'm sayin'." Jensen looked up at him, a little scared but hopeful. "I don't know what to do," he said quietly. Mike slapped him on the back and started them towards the frat house, "Whatever you do, I got your back." They walked in a comfortable silence for a while when Jensen asked, "How did you know?" Mike just smiled softly, looked up at the night sky and chuckled, "Takes one whipped man to know another."

Jensen trudged up to his room, worn out to the bone and even more confused than before. He did not look around when he got to his room. The lamp was still on beside his bed. He just threw his bag in the corner and flopped on the bed face first. There was movement and rustling next to his side. He looked up quickly and jumped back out of bed squeaking, "Danneel!" She turned and sat up pouting. "Well you never seem to have time for me, so I thought I would come here and wait for you. I've missed you Jensen." Jensen looked at her in his bed wearing one of his T-shirts. Then he looked around panicked. _I don't want this_.

An image of Misha laughing with his head thrown back at some stupid joke Jensen had said ran through his mind followed by Misha concentrating on his class work, taking notes with that little wrinkle that appears in his forehead. Laughing blue, blue eyes; a warm, welcoming smile when he sees Jensen; how cute he looks when he blushes to the tips of his ears at the drop of a hat. "Dani … honey, I … um,"

Her eyes start to water slightly, "Is it me?" Jensen rushes to her side and holds her close, "No baby, it's not you. I, um … it's not fair for you, if …." She sniffled slightly and pulled back to look him in the eye. "It's that guy isn't it? Misha?" Jensen blushed slightly, "I'm not sure?" Danneel wiped her tears, flipped her hair over her shoulder, got out of bed and started changing in front of him unashamedly. "Yeah you are Jen. At least I know now and so do you." Once she was finished, she walked over kissed him on his cheek, and said, "Good luck. I hope it works out." and walked out. Jensen that there for a half hour, numb and in deep thought until he suddenly jumped up and ran out of his room.

~*~

Misha answered the door, looking a little rumpled and like he had just woken up to someone annoyingly banging on his door. "Jensen? Is everything alright." Jensen had not planned farther than getting to Misha's door so he was kind of at a loss as to what to do next. "Uh, … um, oh man! Were you asleep? I'm sorry, I can just …" Misha rubbed his eye sleepily and yawned and ran his hands through his hair to try to arrange the mess, but gave up. "Don't be silly. I just fell asleep reading." He motioned for Jensen to come in.

Jensen stood near the door wringing his hands, realized what he was doing and shoved them into his pockets. "Rob working?" Jensen asked when he noticed that Misha's roommate seemed to be out. Misha nodded, "Yeah, he's closing tonight at the coffee house. Should be late too; tonight's poetry reading night. Are you sure you're okay? You look kinda stunned." Jensen blinked a couple of times and had a guilty look on his face. "I, uh, … Me and Dani broke up."

Misha walked over to him concern radiating from his expression and reached out squeezing his arm, "Jeez. I'm sorry." Misha led Jensen to his bed and they sat down, as there was very little in the way of seating arrangements. "Um, there was someone else," Jensen explained. Misha's mouth dropped open, "She is seeing someone else?" quite astonished. "What? Huh? No. Why would you think that?" he snapped, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, you just said there was someone else and I–" Misha replied. "It's not her." Jensen blurted out turning scarlet. "Oh." Misha deflated and stared at his lap, then looked up at Jensen clearly confused. "Jensen, you're not making any sense."

Jensen started panicking. _This is a bad idea. I need to figure this out first_ , he thought. "I gotta go," he yelped as he jumped up and started for the door. Misha's eyes bulged and he gasped turning quickly as he got up from where he sat, "Jensen."

This caused Jensen to stop with his hand on the door handle. Misha was standing behind Jensen. He closed his eyes and dropped his head forward on the worn wood with a thud. Misha was surrounding him; his warmth, his scent … fresh and clean like dried laundry just off the line in the backyard at home. Jensen heard his quick intake of breath and felt Misha's fingers shake as he tentatively rested his hand on his shoulder. "I don't want you to go," Misha whispered.

Jensen slowly turned around and faced Misha's clear blue, terrified eyes with his equally scared green, imploring eyes asking for help. "I don't … I'm not …"

Misha stubbornly jutted his chin out, "I don't want you to go." He said quietly but firmly. Jensen's shoulders sagged in defeat. "I don't wanna go." Jensen barely whispered.

Misha smiled and his eyes lit up and sparkled, "Then stay."

~*~


End file.
